Wednesday 18 April 2012

Confession #2: Heston = Happiness


As you all know, I have been married for just over a year now however my closest friends have all been married between 2 years and 6 months longer than the husband and I. I am a little younger than most of our friends so it has taken me a little longer to play catch up with the whole wife gig. While most of my friends who were smokers gave the sticks up, I have struggled to give up the packet of cigarettes that go ever so nicely with the bottle or two of rose I would happily down on a Saturday night. I went through the following stages regarding this:

1. Good for you!
2. Pffft! WHY would you stop smoking? How boooring! Live it up baby!!
3. What -  you think you're better than me!?
4. WHHYYYY are you so much better than me!! :( :( :(
5. Babe, when you go to the shop can you please grab another packet of Dunhill whites?

And now I have finally reached this stage. The one where I have realised that waking up on a Sunday morning with my mouth tasting like I had eaten actual shit the night before (after my yiros of course) just is not that fucking cool anymore. The one where in an effort to get healthy and fit I have started kick boxing but after 10 minutes I am surprised my lungs haven't collapsed and said, "fuck this breathing shit!" And with my first ever godson on the way, I have no interest whatsoever in being that aunty/godmother. You know the one? That smells like she ate last nights ashtray? That one. Also, when you have people over your house and you have to stand away on your own because you are the only smoker - that right there is just plain sad.

Don't get me wrong - even typing about this is making me want a cigarette. BUT, my husband hates it, my friend's hate it (even though most of them are too polite and lovely to say anything about it) and now I really hate it too. So. I am on the nicotine patches in an effort to act like an adult and do something about this. I am not going to lie, a part of me wants to show people, 'Look at me I am a big girl too!' However most of it is the shit/mouth thing. Oh and cancer etc.

ANYWAY - the leaflet which comes with the patch advises that while using the patches, one should also try and do something to distract themselves when having cravings. So I took their advice and decided to cook the most fucking time consuming dish I could find....

Enter Heston's Chicken and Ham Pie.

http://www.channel4.com/4food/recipes/chefs/heston-blumenthal/chicken-and-ham-pie-recipe

To start, the first step is to brine chicken thighs for 5 hours to keep in the moisture. Sounds long in theory however all you are doing is putting chicken in a salt water bath for 5 hours and waiting. So in that 5 hours I cooked an Asian soup.
The Heston dish wasn't at all hard but there were many elements which did take a lot of time. Once you cook something, it needs to cool. This is for the mushrooms, leeks and chicken itself. Also, there is so much fat in the dish between the chicken thigh skin, butter, full cream milk and dollop cream that I was starting to wonder if a cigarette was a much healthier option. I have to admit I did get really excited when the sauce which needs to be set with gelatine actually worked and I did run up to the husband like a giddy school girl to show him. I assure you he was as surprised as I was. And then jealous.

The pie turned out great  it was really rich and you only need a small slice to be full but it was damn tasty. And I learned a great technique with the brining of the chicken which totally worked. Also, it kept me occupied for the whole day and I felt like I had accomplished a difficult recipe as well as giving my lungs a break.

Oh - and I bragged to all of my friends who were all really impressed and happy for me even though I was being possibly a little over the top about it. Still working on that one.

Confession #1: Honesty and cooking puns are an essential ingredient



Starting this blog isn't something that I thought I would ever do. In fact, it was only a few days ago that some friends of mine suggested I write a 'food blog' when I brought some leftovers into work and they gushed about how fabulous it looked. (It was chicken and sweetcorn soup, mind you)

I have always enjoyed writing and I have definitely always enjoyed food (more so the eating than the cooking) so really putting the two together didn't seem like too much of a stretch. However, I am not a chef and I would never pretend to be so those of you looking for suburban recipes and cooking techniques - close this tab! Instead, I thought it best to write about what I know : eating, a bit of drinking and my love of cooking new things - mostly trying to outdo my friends with the latter. 

At the age of 23 and being married for a little over a year now to my wonderful husband, I decided it was time to step up the cooking in the interest of becoming more 'homely'. Yes, gone are the days for me where every Sunday is spent nursing a stinking hangover with an Ultimate Burger Meal from KFC and a post-mix coke from McDonalds as I have made the decision to swap most of these occasions with all those grown up things one is supposed to do when married. Now before everyone starts jumping on that bandwagon, let me clarify: this is a decision I have made for myself as I actually do enjoy the idea of being a bit of a housewife where I can - and let's face it, aprons are sexy. My husband is not dominant or chauvinistic - we share most of the housework load and most of the time it is actually quite difficult to get him out of the kitchen as he used to be a chef. So please believe me when I say I am not trying to push any type of stereotype but quite the contrary. My intention is to honestly write about some of the aspects of being a newlywed which I am sure many of us face or think about while in the kitchen preparing that amazing meal.

Anyway - I have decided to claim back the kitchen! And with that, comes this blog. I think it is time that young newlyweds like myself have a bit of honest information out there to help each other with the pressures faced in these beginning years of our marriage. And let's face it, most of that comes from or in the kitchen. With food we can impress, de-stress and make a huge fucking mess whilst (hopefully) creating something amazing for people to enjoy. 

So this is the deal. I am going to let you in on the confessions of my cooking adventures. And I am not going to sugar coat it - pun intended. I will be honest about the food as well as any overarching feelings or issues attached to it because let's face it, cooking is never just about cooking.

I want all of us wives to band together and know that hey, it is tough out there and sometimes it can be damn hard to be the perfect wife! But it's ok - we all have these moments. I am going to prove it to you. And I really just hope that I can help you to help yourselves.